It is not just about dealing with cancer. Every book I read that had anything to do with self improvement – from coloring one’s hair to writing a book, suggested that I involve my friends into the process.
Oh, I am not a loner that has no one to call, to share holiday food, a joke or to complain in the time of need. No, I am surrounded by kind, intelligent people. God, please, bless them all. However, I don’t believe that I have moral rights to impose on them my problems.
One time, on a long air-plain flight, I happened to sit with some opinionated gentleman, who talked interminably about his friends who constantly invite him and argue with each other about an honor of having him over. He kept talking. I had no chance to express my point of view on the subject. But then… There is a joke. A woman complains to her husband that other ladies tell her their spouses shower them with expensive presents. To which her husband advises her to make up an enviable story too.
Forget about books, movies and talkative strangers. We are born alone. It was our task at the time- to get through to the light; and we did it. During this life time we also have to endure and pass some challenging exams. We can talk about it, we may like it or not, but the truth is that no one can do it for us, and no one can help us. Freedom is realized necessity. The sooner we will accept this idea, the sooner we will stop hurting ourselves.
People like myths. Something like we all should look as images from a fashion magazine. How real is that? However, it causes plenty of aggravation to a lot of women. Beating yourself up for not having people ready and able to die for you gets in the same category.
Today it is easier than ever to connect to many people via the internet. There are kind souls who’ll listen, counsel, find the right site for you… But asking anyone to bear your burden is unfair.
Recently I attended a conference, where specialists and authorities on a subject were discussing connection between one’s ability to ask for help and one’s self esteem. I was sure that a person with low-level of self assurance can’t ask for help. I was happy to find out that I was wrong.
You are absolutely normal, just learning life’s most exquisite lesson: it loves you.